Freeman's Mind - Episode 37 [Half-Life Source]

Fear the beard...Rating: ****

Creator: Ross Scott (http://www.accursedfarms.com/)

Distributed by: Machinima.com (http://www.machinima.com/)

Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGHkIMXqOKg

A long and very amusing episode in a strong series, Freeman finally gets his memory back in this installment which sees him attempting to traverse the hazards of the labyrinthine Black Mesa facility ("Why do we make rooms which can't be accessed connect to OTHER rooms which can't be accessed?"). There's plenty of jokes and the muffled noises Freeman makes while swimming are both curious and fitting. Another strong effort.

The Machinima Review
"If the critics were always right, we should be in deep trouble" - Robert Morely

Good Grief - Back Up Vocals 3 [Episode 70, Black Ops] & Zombies Are STOOPID [Episode 71, Black Ops Zombies]

Apologies for the double bill review but I'm a bit behind and trying to catch up on releases so this will be short.
Ratings:

• Back Up Vocals 3: ***
• Zombies Are STOOPID: ***

Distributed by: GoodGriefing (http://www.youtube.com/user/GoodGriefing)

Watch them here:

• Back Up Vocals 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG-ees0hfCs&feature=relmfu
• Zombies Are STOOPID: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvoBoZWeD-c&feature=relmfu

Two of Good Grief's most popular characters/skits make a return here, the dulcet tones of ToFastForSeth narrating his game in Back Up Vocals 3 and the nasal whining of CRIMS0NKANE as he informs all the ignorant gamers why Zombies Are STOOPID. The first has it's moments but it really depends on the improved lines of Seth and the quality of the reactions, both of which are fairly standard. There's nobody being ridiculously angry, though the kid trying to direct the whole team by designating himself "Captain" is nicely surreal and the final parting shot of the video is great.

Zombies Are STOOPID starts of, oddly enough, with CRIMS0NKANE offering relationship advice. The victim's realisation that KANE is trolling him is actually slightly sad to hear but hey-ho. On to the History Channel... the usual jokes about helmets and erroneous facts but now with a romantic tone as the nasal-nerd invents a girlfriend for himself. The humour naturally comes with the absurdity of the zombie survival game mode and the nerds off-hand comments. It's a shame that CRIMS0N's chosen audience actually seem quite receptive of his initial sentiments but his constant barrage of conceits eventually sour the mood. All in all the quality of the premise is as strong as ever but it's overlong and a little laboured.

The Machinima Review
"If the critics were always right, we should be in deep trouble" - Robert Morely

DELAYS AND ALL THAT

Hey guys,

Sorry once again for the appalling lapse in reviews, I've been going through some personal troubles and it's hard to commit too much time ATM. But today (29th June) is the day I catch up hopefully. It'll be tough, three GoodGriefing videos, various Machinima videos and ANOTHER FUCKING MORTAL KOMEDY video for me to raise my blood pressure with. But it'll end with the third Red vs Blue episode which I will preliminarily dub BLOODY BRILLIANT. I'm sorry to the people who check back on this blog regularly, I will try to maintain a better standard of time management in the future.

The Machinima Review
"If the critics were always right, we should be in deep trouble" - Robert Morely

3 Chinese Tortures [Final Fantasy]

Aerith's Fables...
RATING: ****

Creator: Blackmagav (http://www.youtube.com/user/Blackmagav)
Distributed by: Machinima.com (www.machinima.com)

Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOiTofVO_Rs

Like being regaled with the life story of an escaped mental patient in a backless surgical gown who periodically swigs from a suspicious looking bottle; this rather funny little piece is crude, glitchy, slapdash and quirky. Which is why it's great.

The Machinima Review
"If the critics were always right, we should be in deep trouble" - Robert Morely

The Dark: The Killing Gene [Moviestorm]

Please 'Turn Of The Dark'... it's just awful...
Rating: NO STARS

Creator: ComputerGirlTV (http://www.youtube.com/ComputerGirlTV)
Distrubuted by: Machinima.com (www.machinima.com)

Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=573ouhQu9U0

I'd never heard of Moviestorm as a machinima engine but it seems to be a lacklustre version of The Sims 2 (the character models are terrible) with more props and far-less personality. Watching The Dark: The Killing Gene put me in mind of a bad Twilight Zone episode as imagined by dead-eyed budget action figures. Any promise in the premise (scientist theorises a gene with explains humanities capactiy for violence) is ruined with the appearence of a fedora-wearing Eastern European (with the worst voice acting and accent I've heard in quite some time) who puts the protaganist through a scenario rejected by even the most lacklustre Hollywood thriller writers on account of it being boring, utterly nonsensical and just plain bad. The puppetry is hilarious (the spasmotic parabolic arc of an arm holding a phone is just one of many terrible moments), the music is bland and cookiecutter and the engine itself is diabolical. When people complain about there not being enough actual machinima on the Machinima network, they didn't mean they wanted this miserable excuse for a film.

The Machinima Review
"If the critics were always right, we should be in deep trouble" - Robert Morely

L.A. Noire: A Kingdom Divided [Live Action]

"It's on like Donkey Kong..."
Rating: ***

Creator: ROBOBOOTS (http://www.roboboots.ca)
Distributed by: Machinima.com (www.machinima.com)

Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xGu7PypqRQ

A fairly standard send-up of the detective mechanics in L.A. Noire quickly becomes a more impassioned swipe at one of modern gamings institutions. The camera angles and popup controls convey the tone and presentation of the game and the writing is solid.

The Machinima Review
"If the critics were always right, we should be in deep trouble" - Robert Morely

Red vs. Blue - The Twins - S9E2 [Halo: Reach / CGI]

"Prepare for trouble and make it double!"
Rating: ****

Creator: Rooster Teeth Productions (http://roosterteeth.com/home.php)

Watch it here: http://roosterteeth.com/archive/?id=3355

Having started slow the new season kicks into high gear for its second episode with a high octane prolonged fight as the prequel storyline picks up. Set before the Blood Gulch Chronicles it aims to tell the story of Project Freelancer and the A.I. fragments assigned to each Freelancer. This will therefore lead to the return of many of the shows best fighters, with a cast including Tex, Washington and Wyoming there will presumably be little idle chit-chat and more balls to the wall action courtesy of Monty Oum (the architect of the similarly balletic Dead Fantasy series).

The two characters at the centre of this episode are the bickering brother and sister team of North and South Dakota (in the main storyline the former has appeared only as a corpse victim of the Meta, the later in a slightly more pro-active and important role). Set to infiltrate a cryogenics facility and retrieve some mysterious data, the duo's banter will strike a chord with anyone who has a sibling, North is the level-headed professional and South is the more impulsive and ready to prove herself.

The real star here is the mo-capped choreography and it doesn't disappoint as the Dakotas dodge bullets and dispense their own with dizzying speed and skill. It may be low on narrative and high on bodycount, but the episode shows off Rooster Teeth's action credentials and there is still plenty of time to show the relationships within the Freelancers and the saga of their downfall before this season is out.

The Machinima Review
"If the critics were always right, we should be in deep trouble" - Robert Morely